Spaced Teacher's Adventures In The Middle Cosmos

January 21, 2010

Ben And Jerry Placed Under Protective Custody

“The Great  Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater , Tx”


She’s beautiful , charming , sexy and DEADLY!!


She’s a Sugar Assassin.


Ch : I’m not counting. Are you?


“Betty Crocker,Mrs. Fields , Mrs. Butterworth , Sara Lee , The Pillsbury Doughboy ,Ben and Jerry etc.etc.


Dear Citizens of WordPress :


In view of the kidnapping yesterday of Aunt Jemima , General May Laze ,the Director of The Homeland Safety Agency has ordered me to put the above listed people into protective custody. She seems to feel that having another American Icon kidnapped by the evil , insipid , nefarious Havana Sugar Cartel would not be good for the people’s morale during these perilous times. I agree with her. It shall be done!!

If you can think of any American Icon that may be the victim of a kidnapping by the vile , insipid , evil , nefarious Havana Sugar Cartel or any of it’s affiliated groups please feel free to leave their names in the comment field of my blog and we SAPS will assess their security needs.Do not be concerned about a security leak at WordPress. They have a T.S.15 rating. WordPress is a secured channel.


As always REMAIN phoneVIGILANTcamera The BASTARDS!!!! are everywhere.

Major Dee Mentia
Lead Investigator {T.G.H.S.A.C.S.T.
Area 61 SAP HQ 1-800-WHO-CARES
Maple Sugar Country
U.S.A.

majordeementia@yahoo.comParty


www.beawilderedinchina.wordpress.com


“The Great  Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx”
“The Satanic HaNazee Romance of Lotus ” Sweet Pie ” Chan And Lucy ” The Korean Rose ” Sanelli
” Spaced Teacher’s Adventures In The Land Of The Middle Cosmos”


” The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater Texas” and all characters ,places,plot lines. mythology or anything else even remotely associated with it are the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used for any purposes without the express written permission of Spacedteacher.


“The Great  Sugar Assassination Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx.” while obviously the victim of a great deal of literary license by the author is based on true events. This actually happened to a diabetic friend of mine. To the best of my knowledge he never did resolve the mystery. This was cause for great concern for him. The names have been fictionalized to insure the guilty from liability be that criminal or civil and  to protect the author,ME against a Sugar Assassination attempt. That damn Havana Sugar Cartel is VICIOUS!!!!

Aunt Jemima Kidnapped

” The Great Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater,Tx.”


She’s beautiful , charming , sexy and DEADLY!!

She’s a Sugar Assassin.


Breaking News!!Hot Off The Wires!!Breaking News!!


Chapter : I lost count


“Aunt Jemima Kidnapped”


Dear Citizens of WordPress :


It is with great sorrow and sadness in my heart that I must inform you of the kidnapping of the beloved American Icon Aunt Jemima. Details are sketchy at the moment. As more information surfaces I will keep you informed.I can tell you though that a Hershey’s Kiss was found at the the scene of the crime. That would seem to indicate that the insipid , vile , evil Havana Sugar Cartel or one of their affiliated groups was behind this crime.Rest assured citizenry The SAPS will get to the bottom of this. We will rescue the beloved Aunt Jemima and bring her home.

As always in these perilous times we urge you to be vigilant. Should you have any information regarding this heinous crime or view any suspicious activities please call The SAPS at our hot line number 1-800-THE-SAPS. You can also leave your tips in this forum as comments . Rest assured WordPress has a T.S.15. rating. It is a secure channel.


REMAIN phoneVIGILANT!!!camera The BASTARDS are everywhere.

Major Dee Mentia
Lead Investigator{T.G.S.A.C.S.T.}
SAP H.Q. — AREA 51{1-800-THE-SAPS}
Maple Sugar Country
U.S.A.

majordeementia@yahoo.comsmile_party


www.beawilderedinchina.wordpress.com

By Spacedteacher

“The Great  Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx”
“The Satanic HaNazee Romance of Lotus ” Sweet Pie ” Chan And Lucy ” The Korean Rose ” Sanelli
” Spaced Teacher’s Adventures In The Land Of The Middle Cosmos”


” The Great Sugar Assassin Caper Of Sweetwater Texas” and all characters ,places,plot lines. mythology or anything else even remotely associated with it are the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used for any  purposes without the express written permission of Spacedteacher.


“The Great  Sugar Assassination Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx.” while obviously the victim of a great deal of literary license by the author is based on true events. This actually happened to a diabetic friend of mine. To the best of my knowledge he never did resolve the mystery. This was cause for great concern for him. The names have been fictionalized to insure the guilty from liability be that criminal or civil and to protect the author,ME against a Sugar Assassination attempt. That damn Havana Sugar Cartel is VICIOUS!!!!

January 20, 2010

The French Connection or Creme Brule Can Be Dangerous To Your Health

The Great Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater ,Tx.


She’s beautiful , charming , sexy and DEADLY!!

She’s a Sugar Assassin.


“The French Connection”


or


“Creme Brule Can Be Dangerous To Your Health”


The first tangible evidence in the case emerged in 2004 in Paris ,France.A very famous and prestigious French Chef had recently opened a new dining restaurant to much critical acclaim. This gentleman owned four or five other restaurants that had all earned a ***** 5 star rating in the Michelin Restaurant guide. Taking his previous track records into account Michelin premiered his restaurant with a ***** 5 star rating. This was unprecedented!!! Business was good for about a month. Everything was going well in the eyes of the owner. The Michelin critics thought differently and dropped the rating to 3.5 stars in the next months issue. On the very day that the rating was dropped a very important influential French gentleman by the name of Jean Claude Phillipe had reservations for dinner.The French chef being distraught over his restaurant’s ratings drop did not have one of his better culinary efforts. Mssr. Phiilipe thought that considering the prices in this restaurant any less than “c’est magnifique” was not acceptable. He asked to speak to the chef. The chef being a temperamental culinary artiste and distraught over his misfortune refused. We ALL know how the French can be !!!
Mr. Phillipe excused himself from his table calmly walked into the kitchen and drowned the chef in a bowl of creme brule

What an undignified way to go. lol

and then vanished. Nobody saw or heard a thing. This crime was committed in plain sight and hearing of about 250 of the restaurant’s patrons and yet there was not one single clue!! No one saw a thing

Colonel Mustard , lead pipe , library??

Except the FARTS.


The Farts are the French Armed Resistance to Traffickers of Sugar. They are a quasi governmental French agency that operates in the shadows right on the edge of French law. They are very effective. The Sugar Assassins fear the FARTS.{What the Hell is the matter with the French. Didn’t somebody realize that this was a horrible acronym? Oh well c’est la vie I guess} The FARTS had intelligence that a Sugar Assassin was operating in the Paris area so they were on their guard. As luck would have it there was a FART agent having dinner in that restaurant that very night. The whole incident happened so quickly that he was not able to apprehend Mssr. Phillipe or get a picture but he knew the real story. He notified the SAPS and ever since they and us have been cooperating on this case . Also there was one piece of evidence at the scene which everybody dismissed out of hand except Lt. Pierre Cartier , the lead FART investigator who found this evidence very interesting.That was an advertisement for a French lingerie store. EVERYBODY else thought it was coincidence that it was there at the scene of the crime. They all reasoned that it must have just fallen out of the pockets of one of the female staff. Lt. Cartier thought differently. He had his suspicions.


The French news papers reported the whole incident as a distraught chef committing suicide over having his Michelin Restaurant guide rating dropped.

The real story is that Mr. Phillipe was a Sugar Assassin sent to Paris by the evil nefarious Havana Sugar Cartel to assassinate the Chef for using sugar from the rival cartel The BASTARDS { Bogota Alliance  Sugar Traffickers Armed Ruinous Destruction }

A team of Sugar Assassins.

Havana was PISSED!!

What we have here ladies and gentlemen is a turf war among two of the larger and more insipid Sugar Cartels.

Bogota , Colombia. Home of the BASTARDS.

To date we have not been able to obtain a picture of him but we have been able to discover his true identity which is Ricardo Edrigo Perez. His Sugar Assassin call name is “Sweet Boy”
If you should happen to see this gentleman be aware that he is armed and extremely dangerous. He probably has 10-12 highly charged Three Musketeers on his person at all times. Give him a wide berth. Avoid him at all costs.
As usual if you have any information regarding this or any other crimes perpetrated by the vile, insipid , evil Havana Sugar Cartel or any of it’s affiliated groups or any individual Sugar Assassin notify the SAPS immediately.

A Mounted Patrol of SAPS.


As always — REMAIN phoneVIGILANT!!!camera The BASTARDS are everywhere.

Major Dee Mentia
Lead Investigator : {T.G.S.A.C.S.T.}
Area 61 SAP HQ
Maple Sugar Country
U.S.A.
1-800-THE-SAPS
majordeementia@yahoo.comsmile_party

http://www.beawilderedinchina.wordpress.com


By Spaced Teacher


” The Great  Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Texas ” and all characters ,places,plot lines , mythology or anything else even remotely associated with it are the intellectual property of Spaced Teacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used for ANY purposes without the express written permission of Spaced Teacher.
“The Great  Sugar Assassination Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx.” while obviously the victim of a great deal of literary license by the author is based on true events. This actually happened to a diabetic friend of mine. To the best of my knowledge he never did resolve the mystery. This was cause for great concern for him. The names have been fictionalized to insure the guilty from liability be that criminal or civil and  to protect the author,ME against a Sugar Assassination attempt. That damn  Havana Sugar Cartel is VICIOUS!!!!

January 19, 2010

Havana Daydreaming

The Great  Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx.


She’s beautiful , charming , sexy and DEADLY!!!


She’s A Sugar Assassin


” Havana Day Dreaming”


or


” The Havana Sugar Cartel Strikes”


In the Spring of 2002 a rather elderly but alert gentleman by the Name of Mr. Barton Park of Sweetwater , Texas began receiving,anonymously, baked goods from bakeries all over the country. Mr.Park being a diabetic and a naturally suspicious man,and ever mindful of the extremely difficult security situation his country was facing as a result of the events of Sept.11.2001 did what all good Americans would do. He called the authorities. In this case that was the Sugar Awareness Police A.K.A., affectionately we hope,the

SAP Agents in hot pursuit of a Sugar Assassin

SAPS. The SAPS are Federal Agents under the direct supervision of The Homeland Safety Agency.The case was assigned to me as the Lead Investigator. My name is Major Dee Mentia.An investigation was launched. Preliminary field intelligence seemed to indicate that vile , despicable , nefarious terrorist group The Havana Sugar Cartel was behind the attempted assassination of Mr.Park. We have no idea why they would want to assassinate an elderly retired gentleman such as Mr.Park. I assure all citizens that we will get to the bottom of this.


What we do know of the Havana Sugar Cartel is that they employ assassins,known as Sugar Assassins,to do their dirty work.In a rather cruel and ironic twist the Sugar Assassins always use sugar in one form or another to kill their victims. Since we now know that there is a Sugar Assassin operating in the Sweetwater Tx. area we urge all citizens of Texas to be extremely vigilant!!If you should go out to dinner in the immediate future you might want to think carefully about ordering that apple pie or carrot cake.




We ask for the cooperation of the public at large in the on going investigation.If you have any information that may pertain to this investigation please feel free to call us at our toll free hot line 1-800-THE-SAPS or leave your tips in this forum as comments. Do not worry WordPress is a secure site. They have TOP SECRET or T.S.15 clearance.

Wordpress has a T.S. 15 Security Rating. You needn't be in fear.

In the coming weeks and months I will bring you up to date on past developments as well as current ones. In the meantime be——


HIGHLYphone VIGILANT!!!camera The bastards are EVERYWHERE!!!



Major Dee Mentia
Lead Investigator{T.G.S.A.C.S.T.}
Area 61
Maple Sugar Country
U.S.A.

1-800-THE-SAPS


majordeementia@yahoo.comsmile_party


http://www.beawilderedinchina.wordpress.com


” The Great  Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Texas ” and all characters ,places,plot lines , mythology or ANYTHING else even REMOTLEY associated with it are the intellectual property of Spaced Teacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used for ANY purposes without the express written permission of Spaced Teacher.


“The Great  Sugar Assassination Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx.” while obviously the victim of a great deal of literary license by the author is based on true events. This actually happened to a diabetic friend of mine. To the best of my knowledge he never did resolve the mystery. This was a cause of great concern to him. The names have been fictionalized to insure the guilty from liability be that criminal or civil and  to protect the author,me against a Sugar Assassination attempt. That damn Havana Sugar Cartel is VICIOUS!!!!

The Assignment

Spaced Teacher’s Adventures In The Middle Cosmos


This Lady is a ” Sister Of The Jardeen Rose”

The ” Sisters Of The Jardeen Rose ” are the sworn enemies of the HaNazees.


“The Assignment”

By Spacedteacher


I was already peeved when I arrived in Athens for my meeting with The High Commander. smile_angryWhat was so damn important that my vacation needed to be canceled with three weeks left? On top of that he kept me waiting for thirty minutes!! What a puushva!! Finally after the obligatory salutations and “Raising Of The Georgian Jale Of Cooperation” the meeting began. Georgia is very steeped in ritual. That can be a dangerous thing when you are already highly agitated at The High Commander’s stupidity. I needed to step lightly. Fortunately I was able to control myself. I just kept telling myself that he could make life very difficult for me so I better remain calm. Believe me as hard as it is to comprehend he could have sent me to a far worse place than where he eventually did. Praise Sheng Di!!!

My current job was as an Administrative Assistant to The High Commander. I was in charge of rather mundane matters such as getting potholes and street lights fixed, keeping the parks clean etc etc. It was a boring but not terribly demanding job. I could do it easily in my sleep. I was happy with my situation. I made reasonably good money and had plenty of time for my more recreational pursuits.


BUT NO!!! This Shinkra has taken it upon himself to advance MY career!! Who in the Hell asked him? Why can’t he just mind his own business? Over my strenuous objections I was being promoted!! I was to be the Attache of The Georgian Government to a Chinese University.  My primary responsibility was to teach the Chinese university students English and American culture. I also had cultural responsibilities such as attending plays,concerts,state dinners,art exhibits etc etc all in an official capacity!!



I felt CURSED!! smile_devilChina? Responsibility? WHY ME??


“The Adventures Of Spacedteacher In The Middle Cosmos { China }” are a collection of short stories based upon my actual experiences.They are written from the point of view of an American ” lao wai” { foreigner}. As is the case with all of humanity’s gardens there are flowers AND weeds.The Chinese garden is no different in that regard , they have flowers in the form of the Jardeen Roses and Jasmine and crabgrass in the form of the HaNazees. I try to weed the crabgrass while focusing on and accentuating the Jardeen Rose and Jasmine .
I have taken only the barest minimum of poetic license in an effort to make these stories more enjoyable to read for you. Trust me when I tell you it happened 99 % exactly as I tell it. All names have been fictionalized to protect the guilty from legal action be that civil or criminal and to protect the innocent from the guilty and most importantly to protect the author , yours truly , from the crabgrass in the Chinese garden. Those HaNazee can be vicious bastards!! lol
The HaNazee are well known for having an aversion to the spelling and grammar challenged among us. These guys are in the employ of the HaNazee.
All characters , plot lines , fictional places , and anything else even remotely associated with these stories is the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used without the express written consent of the aforementioned Spaced one or Bea herself.

Captured Or Enticed By China

Spacedteacher Adventures In The Middle Cosmos


This Lady is a ” Sister Of The Jardeen Rose”


The ” Sisters Of The Jardeen Rose” are the sworn enemies of the HaNazees.

“Captured Or Was  It Enticed By China “

By Spacedteacher


A soft Appalachian Breeze kissed the trees and caressed the birds in The Ozark Mountains of my home country America. American mythology says that America was created by God by blowing a kiss. Appalachian Breeze means “God’s Divine Kiss” . All living creatures stir with passion when they feel His Kiss. The birds burst into song as if proclaiming their love , the trees and flowers spring into bloom as if offering a dowry. All living things become gentle and peaceful.


I was sitting on the porch of my home gazing contentedly at the Ozark sunset while petting the Three Moons Of Pleeksa , my cats. In my fields the deer and antelope were grazing contentedly as the Appalachian Moon began to rise. The stars were beginning to emerge from their slumber to cast an eerie but comforting glow upon the night sky.The forest played it’s night music. I can remember thinking how beautiful it all was. A kaleidoscope for the senses!!!


The Cosmos was at rest. I was on vacation.
This was the world and situation I was captured from.

And then it happened!! My P.C.D. portable communication device or mobile phone as it’s known  to you Chinese clamored. Begrudgingly I answered it having no choice since it was The High

What a puushvaa !!!

Commander. I was summonsed to an immediate and very important meeting in Athens the state capital of my home state.Vacation over with three weeks left. Sometimes the Cosmos just SUCKS!!!



I didn’t realize it at that point yet but I had been captured or some would say enticed from my home.

My Chinese adventure was just beginning.

This English castle is actually a sea shell museum in the beautiful coastal city of Dalian in Liaoning Province , China

“The Adventures Of Spacedteacher In The Middle Cosmos { China }” are a collection of short stories based upon my actual experiences.They are written from the point of view of an American ” lao wai” { foreigner}. As is the case with all of humanity’s gardens there are flowers AND weeds.The Chinese garden is no different in that regard , they have flowers in the form of the Jardeen Roses and Jasmine and crabgrass in the form of the HaNazees. I try to weed the crabgrass while focusing on and accentuating the Jardeen Rose and Jasmine .
I have taken only the barest minimum of poetic license in an effort to make these stories more enjoyable to read for you. Trust me when I tell you it happened 99 % exactly as I tell it. All names have been fictionalized to protect the guilty from legal action be that civil or criminal and to protect the innocent from the guilty and most importantly to protect the author , yours truly , from the crabgrass in the Chinese garden. Those HaNazee can be vicious bastards!! lol
The HaNazee are well known for having an aversion to the spelling and grammar challenged among us. These guys are in the employ of the HaNazee.
All characters , plot lines , fictional places , and anything else even remotely associated with these stories is the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used without the express written consent of the aforementioned Spaced one or Bea herself.

January 18, 2010

Annie Oakley Will Conquer HaNazeeland

Spacedteacher’s Adventure’s In The Middle Cosmos


This Lady is a ” Sister Of The Jardeen Rose.”


The ” Sisters Of The Jardeen Rose ” are the sworn enemies of the HaNazees


Annie Oakley Conquers HaNazeeland

or

The Harmonious Society Restored

By Spacedteacher


The plot was conceived in the Spring of 1993. It will come to fruition soon!! Much sooner than my HaNazee pengyou / friends would believe possible. Your days are numbered Comrades!!!

The first step was to infiltrate various environmental and animal rights groups. They wanted to slowly, silently and efficiently destabilize the HaNazee traditional medicine market by lawfully regulating the flow of such necessary products as rhino horns , bear gall bladders , and tiger penises. This tactic was designed as a ruse to divert the HaNazee government’s attention from the real plot.A secondary reasoning for this tactic was to confuse the populace. It worked like a charm. For 15 years the HaNazee government spent enormous amounts of funds , effort and time fighting this  problem.The HaNazee populace walked around vacantly for 15 years stammering wo bu ming bai / I don’t understand. While this was all going on they launched the next phase of their plan. They planted the invasion cells under the guise of being lao wai { foreign }teachers at HaNazee universities. For fifteen years they equipped and trained their ” Blue Boys ” Commandos.And now the time has drawn near. Soon very soon the plot will come to fruition.

To a HaNazee restaurant near you.

Operation " Restore The Harmonious Society " mission briefing.

We will attack at lunch time. Squadrons of specially trained and highly skilled vicious American Cub Scouts will quietly descend upon every restaurant in HaNazeeland.These Cub Scouts affectionately and reverently

HaNazees !!! locked and loaded!!

known by the American people as “Blue Boys” are under the Command of Den Mother Annie Oakley The Fourth.

Air and tactical support will be provided by The Japanese Defense Ministry with assistance from The Taiwan Defense Forces.The French of course will provide absolutely no help. By the time the HaNazees are finished with their dofu and chicken feet entrees followed by baiju chasers there will be NEW leadership in HaNazeeland. Gan bei Comrades. Hao che ma?

Gan bei / Cheers !!!

The HaNazees say they are Communists but when it comes right down to it they are capitialists. lol

Should the HaNazee government or populace put up any resistance they will be sent to re-education camps immediately. These camps will be located at Carrefours Markets all over Hanazeeland and Tibet and will be supervised by The Dalai Lama. They will be taught the joys of French wine and brie , Italian pasta and pastries ,German streudel and sausage, Japanese sushi , Korean kimchee and Tibetan yak butter while listening to British broadcasts of the B.B.C.news and Enoch Powell speeches.

The ” wolf in monk’s clothing ” lol

BE WARNED !!! YOU WILL ASSIMILATE!! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!!smile_angry

Nimen  you mei wen ti./ You have no problem. Den Mother Annie Oakley The Fourth will be the new Provisional Military Leader of HaNazeeland. Do Not worry!! You will like her. Her chocolate chip cookies keep the whole neighborhood happy. And they will keep you wired!!After 6 months there will be an election in which all HaNazee citizens will be allowed to vote for their new foreign leader.I hope you will all participate.


Now I would like to take a moment to wish the “Blue Boys” and Den Mother Annie Oakley The Fourth and our Japanese and Taiwanese friends good luck. Ladies and Gentlemen I know you’ll make us proud. A side word to our French allies. Continue practicing your surrender.

Welcome to The New New HaNazeeland. Conquered in 2 hours by a few squadrons of American Cub Scouts. Glory to the Glorious New Motherland!!
Conquest by Cub Scouts, the children of your lao wai teachers and chocolate chip cookies!!

Damn that C.I.A. is GOOD.


At last HaNazeeland will have the “Joyous Harmony” they have craved for 5,000 years.

Peace and joyous harmony at last.

Under American leadership.

“The Adventures Of Spacedteacher In The Middle Cosmos { China }” are a collection of short stories based upon my actual experiences.They are written from the point of view of an American ” lao wai” { foreigner}. As is the case with all of humanity’s gardens there are flowers AND weeds.The Chinese garden is no different in that regard , they have flowers in the form of the Jardeen Roses and Jasmine and crabgrass in the form of the HaNazees. I try to weed the crabgrass while focusing on and accentuating the Jardeen Rose and Jasmine .
I have taken only the barest minimum of poetic license in an effort to make these stories more enjoyable to read for you. Trust me when I tell you it happened 99 % exactly as I tell it. All names have been fictionalized to protect the guilty from legal action be that civil or criminal and to protect the innocent from the guilty and most importantly to protect the author , yours truly , from the crabgrass in the Chinese garden. Those HaNazee can be vicious bastards!! lol
The HaNazee are well known for having an aversion to the spelling and grammar challenged among us. These guys are in the employ of the HaNazee.
All characters , plot lines , fictional places , and anything else even remotely associated with these stories is the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used without the express written consent of the aforementioned Spaced one or Bea herself.

January 17, 2010

A Gangbong At The HaNazee Hideaway Lounge

”  The Satanic HaNazee Romance Of  Lotus ” Sweet Pie Chan” and  Lucy “The Korean Rose ” Sanelli”


Chapter : 3


“A Gangbong At The HaNazee Hideaway Lounge”


or


“N.H.N. # 4 Likes Pie Too”


Last evening was a very fun and interesting evening.I went down to The HaNazee Hideaway Lounge to watch the sweet

I wouldn't fight this Lady Law. Cuff me !! Cuff me !!

Satanic Femi-Fascist # 7 work and chew the fat with some of the locals that hang out there. I love to watch F.F. when she gets all authoritative and Policewoman!! She’s cute with those cuffs and baton. She’s also very sexy. Little did I know what was in store for me. Femi-Fasist # 7’s A.K.A. ” The Korean Rose” friend Lotus “Sweet Pie” Chan

I like pie.

A.K.A. “The Nubile Nazi # 4” A.K.A. “The Wavering Lesbian” to any man that is even remotely familiar with her was in town. She had come down to The HaNazee Hideaway Lounge to visit F.F. and have a little fun.”Sweet Pie” is a very sexy young woman with a great sense of humor and a strong proclivity for fun. “Sweet Pie” is also very intelligent. The moment she walked into the place it was like there were no other women. The guys were drawn to her like flies to honey. Part of this was because “Sweet Pie” is just so damn sexy but there was also something else at work here.”Sweet Pie” was a challenge!! And definitely NOT an easy one!! Every guy in the joint wanted to get “Sweet Pie” “on his team” if you catch my drift. Now “Sweet Pie” being a smart young woman knew this .Having a strong proclivity towards fun she intended to take full advantage of the situation.”Sweet Pie” was in her element and we were all going to be the beneficiaries of her erotic largesse.


After the drinks had been flowing for about an hour and “Sweet Pie” had entertained and rejected offers from every guy in the joint she was growing bored so she decided it was time to ratchet it up a notch.”Sweet Pie” climbed up onto the bar.Everybody in the place was rapt,even the women. I think the women were more interested in learning “Sweet Pie’s” tricks. Do I really have to tell you what the guys were interested in? LoL You could hear a pin drop! Everybody was wondering what was coming next. Then “Sweet Pie” did something NOBODY expected!! She spoke!!”How would you guys like to have fun doing something you’ve never done before”? “Sweet Pie” asked. Now these people are guys but they’re not stupid!! They realized that you don’t argue with a Diva. What “Sweet Pie” wants “Sweet Pie” gets. 200 guys scream out “Yes!!!!” “O.K. stay right here” “Sweet Pie” said.”I’ll be back in ten minutes.

F.F. knowing “Sweet Pie” well knew that something fun and exciting was going to happen although she wasn’t sure exactly what. F.F. had ten minutes to get prepared. She gave the command. The window shades were pulled down. The doors were locked. Lookouts were posted. The stage was prepped. The atmosphere was electric with excitement and anticipation!! The boys needed it!! The boys wanted it!! The boys were about to get it!! What exactly they were about to get was something entirely different than what they were anticipating!!


Ten minutes later out walked “Sweet Pie” wearing nothing but a string of pearls and a rather intoxicating smile. Thunderous applause!!! I tell you my friends I have traveled the world and I’ve never seen a dance quite like “Sweet Pie” did that night. In Argentina what she did with that bicycle would be illegal!!  “Sweet Pie” gyrated,shimmied,shook,teased and entertained 200 guys for an hour with little more than charm,a mischievous smile and an ocaisonal peek at her femininity to thunderous applause and a riotous good time.The joint was rockin’. The good times were rolling. Then in “Sweet Pie’s” own erotically chaotic style came the piece de resistance.
“Sweet Pie went backstage for a minute and re-emerged with a huge , thick , black , double ended strap -on


BONG!!!!


To riotous applause she strapped it on and proceeded to bong every guy in the joint. She lined them up and bonged them down like they were bowling pins. After a couple of hours of this there was “Sweet Pie” standing triumphantly with a mischievous grin on her face surveying her delightful damage and making notches on her bong. And there were two hundred very happy albeit a bit confused and definitely “chemically enhanced” young men staring back at “Sweet Pie” with a look that said “I’m not exactly sure what the Hell happened here or how she managed to pull this off but I damn sure enjoyed it.” They’ll never be the same. They have “Sweet Pie” to thank for that. LoL


Friends if you want to have a good time with fun people come on down to The HaNazee Hideaway Lounge. Tell Idaho Sally that Mystery Girl sent you and there will be a free beer in it for you. And who knows you may get lucky and catch “Sweet Pie” on one of her visits. Don’t worry though even if “Sweet Pie” isn’t there you will always see someone fun and interesting visiting. You just never know who may pop in or when. And if “Sweet Pie” should happen to be scouting new victims go ahead and take a shot. See if you can recruit her to “your team”. She won’t mind. You better be careful though you might end up being just another notch on “Sweet Pie’s” bong. It’s your choice. Have fun.

Yee haw !!!

“Lotus “SweetPie” Chan’s and Lucy ” The Korean Rose” Sanelli’s Satanic Romance” A.K.A. Nubile HaNazi # 4’s and Femi-Fascist # 7’s Satanic Romance” and all characters,plotlines,places and mythology even REMOTLEY associated with it are the intellectual property of Spacedteacher DBA Bea Wildered Enterprises / Mystery Girl Enterprises and may not be used for any purpose whatsoever without the express written consent of Spaced Teacher / Mystery Girl
As usual all names have been changed to insure the guilty from any and all liabilities be they criminal or civil.


The characters of Lotus ” Sweet Pie” Chan and Lucy ” The Korean Rose ” Sanelli are ENTIRELY fictional and not based upon ANYONE associated in any way with ANY social networking service. If they tell me to stop writing this story I will do as I always do when their voices in my head speak to me. I will ignore them TOTALLY and COMPLETELY!!! Life is safer when you do NOT listen to HaNazis no matter how nubile they might be or to Femi-Fascists no matter how well they dress even if their voices are ONLY in your imagination.

The Stairway To Heaven Hotel or Devil Or Angel

” The Satanic HaNazee Romance Of Lotus ” Sweet Pie ” Chan and Lucy ” The Korean Rose” Sanelli”


Ch. : 2


“The Stairway To Heaven Hotel”


or


“Devil Or Angel”

Lotus " Sweet Pie " Chan

By Spaced Teacher

Lotus and Lucy’s first date was at a very upscale restaurant. The food was excellent ,the ambience was enchanting and Lucy was highly cooperative. Events were unfolding according to Lotus’s wildest dreams and demonic plan. They would only get better as the evening progressed.

Lucy " The Korean Rose " Sanell

Ladies and Gentlemen the scene of the crime. The Stairway To Heaven Hotel.


Lotus paid the check and leaned over and whispered seductively in “The Korean Rose’s ” ear “please take me to a hotel”. Lucy obliged.They arrived at The Stairway To Heaven Hotel at about 9:30 P.M. Lotus arranged for some refreshment to be sent to the room and then she thanked and tipped the bell boy. The lock clicked and then she sprang into action. She ripped Lucy’s clothes off and threw her on the bed. She slowly and sensuously set up the DVD equipment.She was quite nervous about doing anything on camera.What if her mama saw this video? What if  her strap broke ? She was a bundle of nerves, excitement and wild anticipation. She gave Lucy just enough of a peek to keep her interested and then she said to her “Excuse me .I’ll go “freshen up” a bit. Enjoy the wine.” She came back in about ten minutes in her

Would you let Lotus take you to jail? lol

policewoman uniform looking all sexy and authoritative. She walked over to Lucy slowly and put her under arrest. Lucy was laying on the bed stark naked ,handcuffed to the bedposts eagerly wondering what was going to happen next.It wasn’t long before she found out.Lotus walked over and gave her a long passionate kiss , laid a blue rose on her chest , put a DVD of ” Policewoman ” on the DVD player in repeat mode and left. All night long ” Policewoman” played.It was torture!! Lotus may be sexy and beautiful but I can assure you she is definitely Satanic!! I don’t think Lucy will ever be able to have another sexual fantasy about a policewoman!!

A blast from the past.

At 9:00 A.M. Lupita came into the room.Well needless to say both Lucy and Lupita were a bit shocked!! Fortunately the Gods smiled upon Lucy because Lupita had 4 things she needed. A sense of humor , bolt cutters , a sexy body and personna and a fifteen minute break.I know,I know I thought it was a bit weird that a maid would have bolt cutters too. I guess this sort of thing happens frequently at The Stairway To Heaven Hotel. Lupita had her way with Lucy and then set her free. As she was walking out Lupita called to Lucy “Gracias Mi loco poco Fascist. Come again.” Lucy left the hotel a happy woman. She also had new found respect for “Domestic Goddesses” and Policewomen. Thank you ‘Pita and Lotus{My Angel} she whispered softly as she left singing this tune.

(Blanche Carter)

[Originally sung by The Clovers]

Devil or angel, I can’t make up my mind

Which one you are I’d like to wake up and find

Devil or angel dear, whichever you are

I miss you, I miss you, I mi-i-iss you

Devil or angel please say you’ll be mi-i-ine

Love me or leave me, I’ll go out of my mind

Devil or angel dear, whichever you are

I need you, I need you, I need you

You look like an angel

Your smile is divine

But you keep me guessin’

Will you ever be mine

Devil or angel please say you’ll be mi-i-ine

Love me or leave, I’ve made up my mind

Devil or angel dear, whichever you are

I love you, I love you, I-I lo-o-ove you

Devil or angel please say you’ll be mi-i-ine

Love me or leave, I’ve made up my mind

Devil or angel dear, whichever you are

I love you, I love you, I love you

If you don’t believe this story just go down to HaNazee Hideaway Lounge and ask for

The HaNazee Hideaway Lounge

“Sweet Pie” or “The Korean Rose” and judge for your self how Satanic they are . Are they Devil Broken heartor AngelRed heart? That is a question you must ask yourself BEFORE you get too involved. A word of caution though. Be careful or you might end up at The Stairway To Heaven Hotel. Who knows what she might have planned for you. Only The Satanically Romantic HaNazee ladies themselves knows for sure.Well maybe the dentally challenged Tex might have a clue.Devil or Angel? Who knows for sure? I love a mystery.

P.S. ‘Pita if you have any photos ” Sweet Pie” will pay handsomely for them. She’ll call you Mi Sucre Nina.


“The Satanic HaNazee Romance Of Lotus “Sweet Pie Chan And Lucy” The Korean Rose ” Sanelli ” and all characters, plotlines , places and mythology even REMOTLEY associated with it are the intellectual property of Spacedteacher / Mystery Girl DBA Bea Wildered Enterprises / Mystery Girl Enterprises and may not be used for any purpose whatsoever without the express written consent oF S.T.
As usual all names have been changed to insure the guilty from any and all liabilities be they criminal or civil.


The characters of Lotus “Sweet Pie” Chan and Lucy ” The Korean Rose” Sanelli A.K.A.” N.H.N. # 4″ and “Femi-Fascist # 7” are entirely fictional and are not based upon anybody connected in ANY with with ANY social networking service. If these imaginary characters tell me to stop writing about them I will do what I always do when their imaginary voices speak to me in my imagination. I will ignore them TOTALLY and COMPLETELY. It is not healthy to listen to HaNazees no matter how nubile or Femi-Facists no matter how tackily they are dressed , EVEN when they are ONLY in your imagination.




January 16, 2010

The Great Harbin Cuban Cigar Autopsy Caper

Spacedteacher’s Adventures In The Middle Cosmos

Sister Of The Jardeen Rose

This woman is a ” Sister Of The Jardeen Rose” They are the sworn enemy of the HaNazee


Dear Friends :

I have a Canadian friend here in Harbin who is a bit of a cigar expert. He definitely knows a good cigar when he smells one or smokes one. He is also a smooth talking wheeler dealer type. He has been in Harbin for three years and in that time he has developed many contacts. In China business is done on the basis of  guan xi / relationship. Guan xi is an integral part of Chinese culture that has it’s roots in the teachings of the first HaNazee Emperor Of China. It is indeed a very complicated , intricate concept for lao wai / foreigners to understand and become proficient at. Fred is very close to becoming a master of relationships. In his time here he has cultivated many relationships with the local Comrades.  Recently after doing some work for the local Committe a high ranking member rewarded him with a box of Cuban cigars.


Now Fred being a naturally suspicious man as all smooth talking types are was suspicious of the authenticity of these cigars immediately. I’ve seen the cigars. They no doubt look authentic. They all came individually wrapped in cellophane and a plastic container with the band on them and were in a humidor. They certainly looked authentic to me. I was suspicious also however. When and how could authentic Cuban cigars possibly turn up in Harbin? Beijing or Shanghai would be entirely possible. Maybe even Guangzhou , Xiamen , Qingdao or a few other cities but Harbin? It just didn’t ring true.


One night Fred decided to relax by smoking a cigar and listening to some music. He broke open one of the Cubans. After a few puffs he was convinced. They were not authentic. Just to be sure though he decided to do a cigar autopsy. Out came the scalpel. Twenty minutes later the verdict was in. They were indeed fake. Fred surmised that they were probably made by Puerto Rican immigrants in the basement of  a Newark , N.J. brothel.

I’ll bet a fair number of HaNazees frequent this establishment. lol

Isn’t it curious how all the Comrades seem to have an affinity for Western goods ? lol I wonder what Karl Marx  would say about his Comrades indulging their various life pleasures?




If you come to China and anybody tries to sell you ” authentic ” Western consumer goods you’d be wise to assume that they are indeed not authentic.Forewarned is forearmed. You have been warned.


“The Adventures Of Spacedteacher In The Middle Cosmos { China }” are a collection of short stories based upon my actual experiences.They are written from the point of view of an American ” lao wai” { foreigner}. As is the case with all of humanity’s gardens there are flowers AND weeds.The Chinese garden is no different in that regard , they have flowers in the form of the Jardeen Roses and Jasmine and crabgrass in the form of the HaNazees. I try to weed the crabgrass while focusing on and accentuating the Jardeen Rose and Jasmine .
I have taken only the barest minimum of poetic license in an effort to make these stories more enjoyable to read for you. Trust me when I tell you it happened 99 % exactly as I tell it. All names have been fictionalized to protect the guilty from legal action be that civil or criminal and to protect the innocent from the guilty and most importantly to protect the author , yours truly , from the crabgrass in the Chinese garden. Those HaNazee can be vicious bastards!! lol
The HaNazee are well known for having an aversion to the spelling and grammar challenged among us. These guys are in the employ of the HaNazee.
All characters , plot lines , fictional places , and anything else even remotely associated with these stories is the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used without the express written consent of the aforementioned Spaced one or Bea herself.


Next Page »

Blog at WordPress.com.