Spaced Teacher's Adventures In The Middle Cosmos

January 18, 2010

Annie Oakley Will Conquer HaNazeeland

Spacedteacher’s Adventure’s In The Middle Cosmos

This Lady is a ” Sister Of The Jardeen Rose.”

The ” Sisters Of The Jardeen Rose ” are the sworn enemies of the HaNazees

Annie Oakley Conquers HaNazeeland


The Harmonious Society Restored

By Spacedteacher

The plot was conceived in the Spring of 1993. It will come to fruition soon!! Much sooner than my HaNazee pengyou / friends would believe possible. Your days are numbered Comrades!!!

The first step was to infiltrate various environmental and animal rights groups. They wanted to slowly, silently and efficiently destabilize the HaNazee traditional medicine market by lawfully regulating the flow of such necessary products as rhino horns , bear gall bladders , and tiger penises. This tactic was designed as a ruse to divert the HaNazee government’s attention from the real plot.A secondary reasoning for this tactic was to confuse the populace. It worked like a charm. For 15 years the HaNazee government spent enormous amounts of funds , effort and time fighting this  problem.The HaNazee populace walked around vacantly for 15 years stammering wo bu ming bai / I don’t understand. While this was all going on they launched the next phase of their plan. They planted the invasion cells under the guise of being lao wai { foreign }teachers at HaNazee universities. For fifteen years they equipped and trained their ” Blue Boys ” Commandos.And now the time has drawn near. Soon very soon the plot will come to fruition.

To a HaNazee restaurant near you.

Operation " Restore The Harmonious Society " mission briefing.

We will attack at lunch time. Squadrons of specially trained and highly skilled vicious American Cub Scouts will quietly descend upon every restaurant in HaNazeeland.These Cub Scouts affectionately and reverently

HaNazees !!! locked and loaded!!

known by the American people as “Blue Boys” are under the Command of Den Mother Annie Oakley The Fourth.

Air and tactical support will be provided by The Japanese Defense Ministry with assistance from The Taiwan Defense Forces.The French of course will provide absolutely no help. By the time the HaNazees are finished with their dofu and chicken feet entrees followed by baiju chasers there will be NEW leadership in HaNazeeland. Gan bei Comrades. Hao che ma?

Gan bei / Cheers !!!

The HaNazees say they are Communists but when it comes right down to it they are capitialists. lol

Should the HaNazee government or populace put up any resistance they will be sent to re-education camps immediately. These camps will be located at Carrefours Markets all over Hanazeeland and Tibet and will be supervised by The Dalai Lama. They will be taught the joys of French wine and brie , Italian pasta and pastries ,German streudel and sausage, Japanese sushi , Korean kimchee and Tibetan yak butter while listening to British broadcasts of the and Enoch Powell speeches.

The ” wolf in monk’s clothing ” lol


Nimen  you mei wen ti./ You have no problem. Den Mother Annie Oakley The Fourth will be the new Provisional Military Leader of HaNazeeland. Do Not worry!! You will like her. Her chocolate chip cookies keep the whole neighborhood happy. And they will keep you wired!!After 6 months there will be an election in which all HaNazee citizens will be allowed to vote for their new foreign leader.I hope you will all participate.

Now I would like to take a moment to wish the “Blue Boys” and Den Mother Annie Oakley The Fourth and our Japanese and Taiwanese friends good luck. Ladies and Gentlemen I know you’ll make us proud. A side word to our French allies. Continue practicing your surrender.

Welcome to The New New HaNazeeland. Conquered in 2 hours by a few squadrons of American Cub Scouts. Glory to the Glorious New Motherland!!
Conquest by Cub Scouts, the children of your lao wai teachers and chocolate chip cookies!!

Damn that C.I.A. is GOOD.

At last HaNazeeland will have the “Joyous Harmony” they have craved for 5,000 years.

Peace and joyous harmony at last.

Under American leadership.

“The Adventures Of Spacedteacher In The Middle Cosmos { China }” are a collection of short stories based upon my actual experiences.They are written from the point of view of an American ” lao wai” { foreigner}. As is the case with all of humanity’s gardens there are flowers AND weeds.The Chinese garden is no different in that regard , they have flowers in the form of the Jardeen Roses and Jasmine and crabgrass in the form of the HaNazees. I try to weed the crabgrass while focusing on and accentuating the Jardeen Rose and Jasmine .
I have taken only the barest minimum of poetic license in an effort to make these stories more enjoyable to read for you. Trust me when I tell you it happened 99 % exactly as I tell it. All names have been fictionalized to protect the guilty from legal action be that civil or criminal and to protect the innocent from the guilty and most importantly to protect the author , yours truly , from the crabgrass in the Chinese garden. Those HaNazee can be vicious bastards!! lol
The HaNazee are well known for having an aversion to the spelling and grammar challenged among us. These guys are in the employ of the HaNazee.
All characters , plot lines , fictional places , and anything else even remotely associated with these stories is the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used without the express written consent of the aforementioned Spaced one or Bea herself.

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