Spaced Teacher's Adventures In The Middle Cosmos

January 20, 2010

The French Connection or Creme Brule Can Be Dangerous To Your Health

The Great Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater ,Tx.

She’s beautiful , charming , sexy and DEADLY!!

She’s a Sugar Assassin.

“The French Connection”


“Creme Brule Can Be Dangerous To Your Health”

The first tangible evidence in the case emerged in 2004 in Paris ,France.A very famous and prestigious French Chef had recently opened a new dining restaurant to much critical acclaim. This gentleman owned four or five other restaurants that had all earned a ***** 5 star rating in the Michelin Restaurant guide. Taking his previous track records into account Michelin premiered his restaurant with a ***** 5 star rating. This was unprecedented!!! Business was good for about a month. Everything was going well in the eyes of the owner. The Michelin critics thought differently and dropped the rating to 3.5 stars in the next months issue. On the very day that the rating was dropped a very important influential French gentleman by the name of Jean Claude Phillipe had reservations for dinner.The French chef being distraught over his restaurant’s ratings drop did not have one of his better culinary efforts. Mssr. Phiilipe thought that considering the prices in this restaurant any less than “c’est magnifique” was not acceptable. He asked to speak to the chef. The chef being a temperamental culinary artiste and distraught over his misfortune refused. We ALL know how the French can be !!!
Mr. Phillipe excused himself from his table calmly walked into the kitchen and drowned the chef in a bowl of creme brule

What an undignified way to go. lol

and then vanished. Nobody saw or heard a thing. This crime was committed in plain sight and hearing of about 250 of the restaurant’s patrons and yet there was not one single clue!! No one saw a thing

Colonel Mustard , lead pipe , library??

Except the FARTS.

The Farts are the French Armed Resistance to Traffickers of Sugar. They are a quasi governmental French agency that operates in the shadows right on the edge of French law. They are very effective. The Sugar Assassins fear the FARTS.{What the Hell is the matter with the French. Didn’t somebody realize that this was a horrible acronym? Oh well c’est la vie I guess} The FARTS had intelligence that a Sugar Assassin was operating in the Paris area so they were on their guard. As luck would have it there was a FART agent having dinner in that restaurant that very night. The whole incident happened so quickly that he was not able to apprehend Mssr. Phillipe or get a picture but he knew the real story. He notified the SAPS and ever since they and us have been cooperating on this case . Also there was one piece of evidence at the scene which everybody dismissed out of hand except Lt. Pierre Cartier , the lead FART investigator who found this evidence very interesting.That was an advertisement for a French lingerie store. EVERYBODY else thought it was coincidence that it was there at the scene of the crime. They all reasoned that it must have just fallen out of the pockets of one of the female staff. Lt. Cartier thought differently. He had his suspicions.

The French news papers reported the whole incident as a distraught chef committing suicide over having his Michelin Restaurant guide rating dropped.

The real story is that Mr. Phillipe was a Sugar Assassin sent to Paris by the evil nefarious Havana Sugar Cartel to assassinate the Chef for using sugar from the rival cartel The BASTARDS { Bogota Alliance  Sugar Traffickers Armed Ruinous Destruction }

A team of Sugar Assassins.

Havana was PISSED!!

What we have here ladies and gentlemen is a turf war among two of the larger and more insipid Sugar Cartels.

Bogota , Colombia. Home of the BASTARDS.

To date we have not been able to obtain a picture of him but we have been able to discover his true identity which is Ricardo Edrigo Perez. His Sugar Assassin call name is “Sweet Boy”
If you should happen to see this gentleman be aware that he is armed and extremely dangerous. He probably has 10-12 highly charged Three Musketeers on his person at all times. Give him a wide berth. Avoid him at all costs.
As usual if you have any information regarding this or any other crimes perpetrated by the vile, insipid , evil Havana Sugar Cartel or any of it’s affiliated groups or any individual Sugar Assassin notify the SAPS immediately.

A Mounted Patrol of SAPS.

As always — REMAIN phoneVIGILANT!!!camera The BASTARDS are everywhere.

Major Dee Mentia
Lead Investigator : {T.G.S.A.C.S.T.}
Area 61 SAP HQ
Maple Sugar Country

By Spaced Teacher

” The Great  Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Texas ” and all characters ,places,plot lines , mythology or anything else even remotely associated with it are the intellectual property of Spaced Teacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used for ANY purposes without the express written permission of Spaced Teacher.
“The Great  Sugar Assassination Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx.” while obviously the victim of a great deal of literary license by the author is based on true events. This actually happened to a diabetic friend of mine. To the best of my knowledge he never did resolve the mystery. This was cause for great concern for him. The names have been fictionalized to insure the guilty from liability be that criminal or civil and  to protect the author,ME against a Sugar Assassination attempt. That damn  Havana Sugar Cartel is VICIOUS!!!!


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