Spaced Teacher's Adventures In The Middle Cosmos

January 6, 2010

Jardeen And HaNazee Mythology For Dummies

Spaced Teacher’s Adventures In The Middle Cosmos

This Lady is a ” Sister Of The Jardeen Rose “

The ” Sisters Of The Jardeen Rose ” are the HaNazee’s sworn enemies.

“The Sisters Of The Jardeen Rose and The Sisters And  Brothers Of The Jardeen Jasmine”


Vs.


” The Brothers and Sisters Of HaNazee Ignorance and Chaos”


or


“Jardeen Mythology For Dummies”


Long before the reign of what are now known as the HaNazees the land that the HaNazee now occupy was known as Jardeen. It was a beautiful and prosperous land until the evil first Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao was able to conquer the peace loving Jardeen people and unleash the curse upon them which would eventually change their whole culture and civilization. Many of them became the HaNazee people and their country  became known as HaNazeeland. There are still many Jardeen people left in HaNazeeland but life is very difficult for them since they have been conquered by the foul tiny minority known as The HaNazee.


Having a few spare hours last evening I decided it was time to do some more studying about Jardeen culture. I was curious about their religion / philosophy. I decided to read “The Kiree Jal”.Their Holy book. For you foreign people it would be roughly equivalent to The Holy Bible , The Torah , The Koran or The Kama Sutra. By the time I was finished my knowledge had expanded at least fivefold. I also had an epiphany which I will now share with you.


In ancient Jardeen times about 5,000 years ago when the Jardeen culture was in it’s infancy the first Emperor,Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao had a personal garden in his courtyard which he was very fond of. He also had virgin forests throughout his Kingdom which were his pride and joy. Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao was a despotic King with an evil heart. He was not however stupid. Being ever mindful of the consequences of jangling the Jardeen people’s sensitive natures he stepped lightly whenever he could.As part of this policy since he liked children largely because he didn’t view them as a threat and because the sound of their laughter was soothing music to his troubled soul, he would let the Court’s children play in his garden. One day a beautiful innocent girl child by the name of Li Tan was playing there and came upon a rose and some jasmine growing side by side both of which had very unusual scents. Since she was a loving child she picked the rose for her Mother who liked roses and the jasmine for her Father who liked jasmine. When the Emperor heard of this he was furious!! He summonsed the child and her parents. He asked the child why she had picked the flower. The child said because they were beautiful and her Mommy and Daddy liked flowers. She also said something that totally confused the Emperor. She asked in a sweet innocent voice why the Emperor didn’t know of the power of the scent of these flowers and why he didn’t know that these were blessed by Sheng Di. Once again he was furious !!How could this mere girl child know something he didn’t? How could she be so impertinent as to cause him to lose face in front of his own Court? He was also not thinking clearly. He banished Li Tan and her family to live forever in the gloom of Shar Veesta!! Or so he thought. He also decreed that all the people of his Kingdom were to plant seeds from “The Tree Of Ignorance” in his forests and seeds from “The Flower Of Chaos” in his own personal garden.This was done to remind the people of the Emperor’s power. The people being very fearful of the evil despotic Emperor complied willingly except for a small group of about 80 women and twenty men who objected to these decisions in the most strenuous of terms , to no avail.


The Emperor while he realized the inherent danger he had created for himself also realized that 100 people were not enough to cause him any more than a minor irritation. However he didn’t even want to deal with minor irritations so he agreed to let these 100 honor Li Tan and her family in any acceptable way they chose. The 100 chose to plant a rose garden of the variety of rose that Li Tan had picked right in the middle of the Emperor’s own court and to plant jasmine also of the type that Li Tan had picked throughout the Kingdom’s forests. Much to the Emperor’s chagrin they named the rose garden “Li Tan’s Rose Garden Of Joyous Harmony” and the jasmine forests ” Li Tan’s Forest Of Peaceful Enlightenment”
Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao had unknowingly and by his own free will turned his virgin forests into “The Forest of Ignorance”and his own personal garden into “The Garden Of Chaos” and cursed the Jardeen people for a period of 7,000 years. The Jardeen people by freely doing as the Emperor ordered had effectively cursed themselves.


Sheng Di , God of the Righteous Jardeen and the lao wai A.K.A. foreigners sitting on her throne high in the Heavenly clouds of  Yellow Mountains was not at all pleased with these shenanigans of the Emperor. The first thing she did was rescue Li Tan and her family and bring them to live a peacfeul joyous eternal life with her in Yellow Mountains. Then she waited patiently for the Emperor’s prayers of forgiveness. Six days passed and then they came.

After six days had passed the Emeperor having calmed down and returned to a rational thought pattern realized what he had done. He came to the conclusion that he had behaved badly and that his actions must be undone. Since he was Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao the most powerful man in the Kingdom who could he turn to. He had no clue. He agonized about this for what seemed like an eternity. As he was sitting in front of “Li Tan’s Rose Garden Of Joyous Harmony” pondering his quandry he heard a little boy by the name of Quai Con Cain praying to Sheng Di. The Emperor curious to know why this little boy was doing this called him over and asked him to explain. The little boy being “A Kindred Spirit” and a believer gladly told him the story of Sheng Di . The Emperor was not even slightly convinced but figured “What the Hell have I got to lose?” Up went the prayer of contrition. “Oh please help me Sheng Di . I have done a terrible thing.” Sheng Di answered but not in the way Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao expected. Sheng Di explained that while she could not undo something that was done of the Emperor’s own free will she could and would help him. The Emperor accepted. What the Emperor didn’t realize was that Sheng Di wasn’t suggesting what he do or asking him to do it she was telling him to do as she instructed.The Emperor unused to being told what to do especially by a woman refused. Sheng Di being omnipotent, female and of rational mind suspected what was going to happen next. She was prepared. Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao being a Jardeen Male of HaNazee tendencies , weak of intellect and character and of a spiteful nature reacted exactly as Sheng Di expected. He ordered all the people to go out and plant more seeds from “The Tree Of Ignorance” and ” The Flower Of Chaos” throughout his Kingdom. After all he reasoned “I am the King!!” “Who does this Sheng Di think she is?”

All of the people except The 100 followed the Emperor’s orders faithfully and reverently. The Emperor was extremely pissed at The 100. This time he was not going to entertain any excuses. He banished them to the gloom and doom of Shar Veesta as he had tried to do the first time they crossed him. Once again he failed. At that very moment the Heavens parted and Sheng Di in a thunderous ominous voiced warned the Emperor to never threaten The 100 in any way again and whisked The 100 away to Huang Shan on ” The Yellow Light Of Bong Ti ” to live a joyous peaceful life with her , and Li Tan and her family. And to train for a Divine Mission.

On the morning of the Seventh Day the Orders of “The Sisters of The Jardeen Rose ” and “The Sisters And Brothers Of The Jardeen Jasmine” were born. And so was “The Emperor’s Legion Of The Brothers And Sisters of  Jardeen{HaNazee} Chaos And Ignorance”.

ON The Seventh Day the Emperor had had enough of this infernal Sheng Di’s meddling in his affairs. He cursed Sheng Di and rebuked her authority over his Kingdom. He had pronounced himself her sworn enemy!! He also gave birth to” The Emperor’s Legion Of Brothers And Sisters Of Jardeen{ HaNazee} Chaos And Ignorance” and pronounced himself their Eternal Leader. Believing profoundly in the purity of his philosophy and heart he pronounced himself “Yellow Devil Of The East” “The Eternal Leader ” of “The Emperor’s Legion OF Brothers And Sisters Of Jardeen { HaNazee}Ignorance And Chaos” Their Kingdom, is somewhere in the East of HaNazeeland. Only Sheng Di knows eactly where. He gave them a two fold mission. To always sow the seeds of chaos and ignorance wherever they had the chance and to always confuse and frustrate the foreigners for bringing that infernal meddling God of the Righteous Jardeen and foreigners Sheng Di into his Kingdom.He also made them swear a Sacred Oath to him. The oath was very simple yet powerful in it’s sublety. It was this “Wo Bu Zhi Dao” or in English.”I DON’T KNOW!! ” This oath was a cunning move on his part. It assured that his name Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao would be spoken repeatedly by the HaNazee Jardeen people for the eternity of their history. He also required them to wear a mystical invisible veil at all times. This veil is known to “The Sisters and Brothers” as “The Veil Of  Chosen Ignorance” As long as  “The Brothers and Sisters of Ignorance And Chaos” are wearing it they can’t be accepted or persuaded. This veil also can’t be removed forcibly even by “The Sisters and Brothers Of The Jardeen Rose And Jasmine” If a  “Brother or Sister Of Ignorance And Chaos” wishes to be accepted or persuaded they must remove it themselves. Prophecy says that at “The Battle of Xi Chan” Sheng Di herself will remove the veils from “The Brothers and Sisters Of Ignorance and Chaos ” thus freeing them and vanquishing Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao decisively and for all eternity.

The current practitioners of Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao’s philosophy are —– Are you sitting down? Are you ready? Is the suspense killing you??——-


The HaNazees . Their Leadership Council is called The Committee of 17!!!


Also on The Seventh Day in the cool of the morning mists covering The  Huang Shan like a Divine veil Sheng Di launched her mission. She took the The 100 and divided them equally into two groups. All twenty men and thirty of the women became “The Order Of The Sisters and Brothers of The Jardeen Jasmine” Since Li Tan’s Father was a righteous man in the eyes of Sheng Di he was their leader. By Righteous Jardeenic Scripture however since he was still a Jardeen man. Even though Sheng Di viewed him as a Righteous Jardeen man she knew that all Jardeen men are susciptible to the temptations of HaNazeeism therefore she decreed that his Second In Command must always be a Sister. The second group was to become “The Order Of The Jardeen Rose” and their leader was Li Tan’s mother. Li Tan herself sits at the right hand of Sheng Di. She acts as the liason advisor from Sheng Di to both “The Sisters Of The Jardeen Rose”and “The Sisters and Brothers Of The Jardeen Jasmine”. Righteous Jardeenic Scripture says emphatically that Li Tan will be the pivotal decisive force in “The Battle Of Xi Chan” The Jardeen “Apocalypse” “The Sisters of The Jardeen Rose” and “The Sisters and Brothers of The Jardeen Jasmine’s” mission is to counter Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao’s forces whenever and wherever they are found by any means acceptable within the dictates of Righteous Jardeenic Religious Law. Believe me when I tell you that when “The Sisters and Brothers” encounter Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao’s forces they have wide latitude as to their response.They have also been instructed by Sheng Di to faithfully assist all foreigners in difficulty during their travels in HaNazeeland. Sheng Di has a kind regard for foreigners. They are her “Chosen People” They were the first ones to proclaim her. They are also charged with preaching the Gospel of Sheng Di. Also on that morning Sheng Di cast four spells. The first was upon Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao. He was cursed with “The Eternal Scent Of The Jardeen Rose and Jasmine” The “Sisters and “Brothers”scents would be with him for eternity.It would always be there right on the tip of his bezi. I can only imagine what agony that is for him. All the Jardeen men that followed Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao’s orders to plant seeds of ignorance and chaos were cursed with “The Plague Of Indecision” This was because in Sheng Di’s eyes they were unrighteous , proud , ignorant and lazy.In other words HaNazee men. It seemed appropriate to her to never let them make an easy decision. After all the one time they had a chance to make one they messed up the whole Righteous Jardeen history and culture. I tend to agree with her.This curse is appropriate.All the Jardeen women that followed Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao’s orders to plant seeds of ignorance and chaos were forever cursed with”The Plague Of The Amorous Foreigner” they were to be courted and sparked by blue eyed white skinned foreigners for all of eternity. And you were beginning to doubt that Sheng Di had a sense of humor. I’d say this curse was also appropriate. After all they doubted the power of the God of the foreigners and The Righteous Jardeen. All of the non Righteous Jardeen  people A.K.A. HaNazees,  were cursed for 7,000 years with ” The Curse Of Chosen Poverty” because they allowed the HaNazee to rebel against Sheng Di’s authority.  I would also say this curse was appropriate since after all they willingly chose to plant the seeds of ignorance and chaos. Sheng Di being a merciful kind God has however provided an escape from this curse. When “The Economic Savior ” appears if he is accepted and followed faithfully the curse will be lifted. Many Righteous Jardeen people think this was Deng Xiao Ping. I guess the jury is still out on that. Time will tell. Another way is to seek “The Sisters and Brothers”. When 80% of the Jardeen people become believers known as “Kindred Spirits” then the curse will be lifted. We are 5,000 years into it and as yet it hasn’t been lifted. I guess they need more time. The other curses can also be lifted on an individual level simply by seeking “The Sisters and Brothers” and either being accepted{baptized} or persuaded{converted}. To date there have not been many acceptances or persuasions although the few that do are very devout. Interestingly “The Sisters Of Jardeen Rose” handle the women that want to be persuaded or accepted and “The Sisters And Brothers Of The Jardeen Jasmine” handle the men that wish to be accepted or persuaded. I don’t know the exact reasons for this although I have my suspicions. Maybe my faith is wavering. “The Sisters And Brothers” aren’t saying. I guess it’s good that some things remain a mystery. Also interestingly the women that wish to be accepted or persuaded make up their minds about it much faster than the men. I don’t know if this is because they wish to escape ” The Curse Of The Amorous Foreigner” or they have truly seen “The Yellow Light Of Sheng Di”. The indecisiveness of the Jardeen men that wish to be accepted or persuaded is no mystery to anyone. They suffer from “The Plague Of Indecision” They are a constant battle for “The Sisters And Brothers Of The JardeenJasmine” Exactly who “The Brothers and Sisters Of The Jardeen Jasmine” and ” The Sisters Of The Jardeen Rose” are is a mystery. They prefer to remain silent until they are sought. Legend has it though that if you are “A Kindred Spirit” and there is a “Sister” or “Brother” near you will smell the enchanting intoxicating smell of roses/jasmine. I believe the legend.
Well now foreigner do you think you have a better understanding of the Righteous Jardeen and HaNazee Jardeen Cultures? Very good I am pleased Grasshopper.  In “The Cosmos Of Knowledge” you have colonized a small insignificant planet for Jardeen. You WILL do more!!

And now for the epiphany.

If you remember in a previous chapter I told you about my difficulties at the airport and my first experience with Righteous and HaNazee Jardeen people in HaNazeeland. As you will recall it was a beautiful Jardeen woman that ultimately solved my difficulties. I did not realize it at the time or even think about it but in hindsight I remember the faint but intoxicating scent of roses. I had indeed been rescued by “A Sister Of The Jardeen Rose” Unbeknownst to me I was a “Kindred Spirit” and a foreigner. She saw my difficulty and she she acted. The Gospel had been spread. I accept gladly even if a bit belatedly. I am proud to say I am a “Brother Of The Jardeen Jasmine”
I am at peace with my “Sisters and Brothers” and at war with the forces of Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao.

Thank you my “Sister Of The Jardeen Rose.”


It has been 5,000 years since these events and the battle still rages. The curses have not been lifted except in a few isolated individual cases.The forces of Emperor Wo Bu Zhi Dao are very strong but have no fear friend  “The Sisters Of The Jardeen Rose” and “The Sisters And Brothers Of The Jardeen Jasmine” are strong in their faith. They are up to the task. The prophecies of Sheng Di will come to pass in due course.

A little advice for all you foreigners with little or no Jardeen experience.
If you have difficulty in Jardeen with either the Jardeen people or the Jardeen system before you get angry or pull a hissy fit STOP!! REMAIN CALM!!! Seek “A Sister” If you are a “Kindred Spirit” they will find you and help you.

In short before you get angry and pull a hissy fight STOP!!
And smell the Jardeen rose and jasmine. As long as “The Sisters and Brothers” are on your side The HaNazee and The Committee of 17


CAN’T WIN!!!


By SpacedTeacher rainbowwith some help from my anonymous friend, admirer and copy cat Mystery Girl A.K.A. Jardeen Rose

[rockyou id=67648131&w=579&h=432]

“The Adventures Of Spacedteacher In The Middle Cosmos { China }” are a collection of short stories based upon my actual experiences.They are written from the point of view of an American ” lao wai” { foreigner}. As is the case with all of humanity’s gardens there are flowers AND weeds.The Chinese garden is no different in that regard , they have flowers in the form of the Jardeen Roses and Jasmine and crabgrass in the form of the HaNazees. I try to weed the crabgrass while focusing on and accentuating the Jardeen Rose and Jasmine .

I have taken only the barest minimum of poetic license in an effort to make these stories more enjoyable to read for you. Trust me when I tell you it happened 99 % exactly as I tell it. All names have been fictionalized to protect the guilty from legal action be that civil or criminal and to protect the innocent from the guilty and most importantly to protect the author , yours truly , from the crabgrass in the Chinese garden. Those HaNazee can be vicious bastards!! lol
The HaNazee are well known for having an aversion to the spelling and grammar challenged among us. These guys are in the employ of the HaNazee.
All characters , plot lines , fictional places , and anything else even remotely associated with these stories is the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used without the express written consent of the aforementioned Spaced one or Bea herself.

Advertisements

January 4, 2010

Spacedteacher’s First Encounter With The HaNazee

Spacedteacher’s Adventures In The Middle Cosmos

Sister Of The Jardeen Rose

This woman is a ” Sister Of The Jardeen Rose” They are the sworn enemy of the HaNazee

Spacedteacher’s First Encounter With The HaNazee

By Spacedteacher

During the two year run up to the  Beijing Olympics  I had the extreme misfortune of becoming acquainted with the HaNazee. I always knew they existed but to this date I thought that they were on the fringes of the  Chinese political spectrum. I was soon to be dissuaded of that opinion. They are a driving force in Chinese politics and extremely dangerous.

As you all know there was much conflict between Tibet and China during this period. As one that is interested in the cultural and political issues of the day in the world I thought it would be fun to seek a venue for discussion and learning about this thorny problem. I sought to find a group on Facebook where I could hear both  sides of the dispute , put in my two cents after having become a bit familiar with the positions of both sides and hopefully learn something. I found what appeared at the time to be the perfect forum for my purposes. The name of the group was  ” Tibet Is , Was , And Always Will Be Part Of China .” I observed for about a month and then finally jumped in. My very first post which was well reasoned and stated drew the general response from the Chinese in this group that I was a troll. I thought this strange for two reasons. I did not take sides on the debate but rather simply posed a question and I had no idea what a troll was at that time. In any case I dismissed it as an aberration and plunged ahead.Well it didn’t take me long to figure out that the vast majority of the Chinese people at this group were virulent racists. No white person had a right to have a negative opinion of China no matter how well justified , factual , reasoned , stated or constructive. The vast majority of these folks were HaNazee as I quickly discovered. What is a HaNazee you ask? Well 92 % of the Chinese people are of the Han ethnic group. About 30 -40 % of them are Nazis. Are you following me here?



This is a group of juvenile , wildly irrational , dangerously nationalistic , virulently racist , emotionally stunted young people that spend all day on the net defending China against any and all criticism without regard to the validity or constructiveness  of said criticism. Absolutely nothing negative is allowed to be said about China and especially not  by a white person from the developed countries of the West.The vast majority of them are boys , some of whom are as old as 40 , but the most zealous of them are girls. That probably explains why their leader is a young woman. A significant percentage of them speak from the warm friendly and safe confines of Ottawa , London , Paris , Sydney , New York , San Francisco  and other Western cities where they are citizens of those respective countries and thusly enjoy all the pursuant rights and privileges that would get them in big trouble in China should they exercise them. Seldom will you hear them have anything positive to say about their adopted lands. Curiously though none of them seem to be making a beeline to the airport with tickets for Beijing , Shanghai and other parts of China. Many of them have never even been to China. Those that have are almost exclusively from the major metro areas of China. I have lived in China far longer than most of them and not in the more developed areas of China either. The truth is I know more about China than the vast majority of them. That sticks in their craw to an agonizing degree.


They also have a few quirks which I find particularly strange. I don’t know why these quirks manifest themselves in these disturbed children but there must be a reason. They hate the handicapped both mental and physical , they have a very strong aversion to the spelling and grammar challenged among us , they are incredibly cruel and most disturbingly in my opinion they understand each other. They seem to me to be an intellect eating virus that feeds on itself as much as others.

Some of the HaNazee you will meet in upcoming chapters are  as follows :

”  The Marching Comrade # 7 ”  ” The Vancouver Virus ”  ” The Spelling Mistress # 1″  ” The Grand Zen Buddhist Master Shane Koy ” ” “The Grammar Master # 4 ” ” Nubile HaNazee # 6″  ” The Nazi In Nylons  # 13″ and ” The Femi Fascist “

There are more. The pool of comedic idiocy at this group is a mother lode for creative subject matter . These folks are highly comedicly entertaining all while being dangerously politically active . They are akin to ” The Fountain Of Youth For The Intellectually Challenged .”


I will be the first to say that you should not take me at my word about these folks so I suggest that you do a Facebook group search for the ” Tibet Is , Was And ALWAYS WILL BE Part Of China ” group. Go investigate for yourselves if you wish. Do let me know what you think regarding them.

Have fun.

“The Adventures Of Spacedteacher In The Middle Cosmos { China }” are a collection of short stories based upon my actual experiences.They are written from the point of view of an American ” lao wai” { foreigner}. As is the case with all of humanity’s gardens there are flowers AND weeds.The Chinese garden is no different in that regard , they have flowers in the form of the Jardeen Roses and Jasmine and crabgrass in the form of the HaNazees. I try to weed the crabgrass while focusing on and accentuating the Jardeen Rose and Jasmine .
I have taken only the barest minimum of poetic license in an effort to make these stories more enjoyable to read for you. Trust me when I tell you it happened 99 % exactly as I tell it. All names have been fictionalized to protect the guilty from legal action be that civil or criminal and to protect the innocent from the guilty and most importantly to protect the author , yours truly , from the crabgrass in the Chinese garden. Those HaNazee can be vicious bastards!! lol
The HaNazee are well known for having an aversion to the spelling and grammar challenged among us. These guys are in the employ of the HaNazee.
All characters , plot lines , fictional places , and anything else even remotely associated with these stories is the intellectual property of Spacedteacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used without the express written consent of the aforementioned Spaced one or Bea herself.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.